Well, I'm feeling a bit more upbeat today.
Spoke with a counsellor through the bank yesterday who was lovely. She's the first counsellor I've spoken to who seemed to acknowledge that what we are going through is really tough on us. Everyone else seems to think I should just live life for the day and be happy that I have more time ahead...which I agree I should try to do, but is sometimes easier said than done. Anyway, I'm now signed up for 6 sessions over the next 6 weeks over the phone (otherwise I would have had to go to Hemel) which I hope will just help me a bit. And the good thing is that it will cover the run up to my next appointment, and the period afterwards.
Nick and I also had a really good chat last night. He explained a bit more of how myeloma works. I've found it really frustrating that I don't really understand the readings and what is happening to me and he just helped clarify it a bit better. We went over my readings (that had finally been sent through by the hospital) and he explained them a bit to me too. We agreed that perhaps now was the time to get a second opinion so that someone can clarify it all to us, what we're waiting for etc. Dr Aitchinson is a lovely man, but he doesn't really help me to understand it all. And I need something that I am in control with.
So today we're having a lovely day with the kids, taking them swimming and one of my best maties from London is coming over for the night....have a feeling there may be a few tears, but am hoping that I'm a bit more settled....dono't want to scare her from coming again!!!