Well we seem to have an abundance of babies at the moment. We'll have had at least 5 being born within the last 3 weeks...very gorgeous all of them so far and I'm loving the cuddles...and being able to give them back!
But it has made me stop and think. I always said Sam was my last baby. I've been so adamant we gave everything away! But I know that Nick has always hankered after more...funny really as when we got together it was him that wanted two and me that wanted more!! Recently I've really started thinking about it more with so many babies around and with lots of my bestest friends being pregnant. I do wonder if it wasn't for my diagnosis whether we'd be rethinking the decision to stop. But I feel like that would be really selfish now that we know. Even if Nick was prepared to take the risk of having to look after them on his own, it is about more than that. It is about what we'd put them through if I did get ill enough to need treatment.
I sort of feel a little sad about it at the moment. Only a little as I feel so grateful and lucky to have two healthy, gorgeous children already. I know that many people would give anything for that. But despite being about to get my life back when sam starts school in September, part of me hankers after that baby again (looking at Rebecca's baby photos didn't help!)
So, next time I'm looking wistful, just remind me that it has been 5 years of limited sleep, years of nappies, constant arguments and a limited life of my own...hopefully I'll snap out of it pretty fast!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment