It's been a busy month since the last appointment what with a birthday party for my lovely 2 children (off to Neverneverland with Peter Pan!) and 35 other kids, my daughters actual birthday and numerous other catch ups with family and friends.
Sam has now started school and is settling in really well....given that he is the youngest in his year we are so relieved for him, and it makes it so much easier thinking that he is settled if I have to start treatment at some point in the next year. And Rebecca is doing fantastically too so we are really pleased with them both.
As for me, well as I said, nothing much has changed. I still don't seem to have any symptoms (the pain in my neck is pillow related!!!) so seem to be hanging in there - I'm just hoping I can be the exception to the rule, and flumax those consultants.
I still find the 'limboland' pretty hard to tolerate and hate the fact that we're living our life in 2 months stretches at the moment. Part of me wants to stop it and just assume that I won't have to start treatment for ages, but part of me knows that is just silly and that I'll then just feel like I've failed if I have to change all our plans.
Still, it has made a big difference giving the bloods on the same day as my appointment....at least now I don't have to worry for the week leading up to the bloods and then for the week leading up to the appointment. I still have a few blips here and there. I was at the gym the other day and two ladies were taking about their kids choosing secondary schools - I suddenly felt myself well up as it made me wonder if I would be here to do that....and if I was, would I be well enough. I know that I need to keep thinking positively (and I do most of the time!!) but every now and again thoughts like that creep into my mind and I find myself getting sad that I have to go through these worries.
But through it all, I just feel so lucky to have the people around me that I do. Nick in particular is just amazing. I am so lucky to have such a lovely husband who loves me so much (and who I love so much too!) gush gush!!! But he is just amazing and is a real strength to me. I can't believe how good he is and how much he is prepared to take on to support me. He has never made me feel that we can't cope with this journey, and seems to know what to say, and when. So Nick, if you ever read this, thank you my lovely!
Anyway, enough gushing for one post...it's making me all teary just thinking of it!!!
xx
